‘Run run we will be late for the plane’ Shnell cried. 1:35 and we have to be there it is 1:30 gooooo . Shnell ,Dot , Paven and lucy passed the waiting sets passed the front desk, Shnell quietly said there is security have to get pass without them stopping us, lets go throw the bath room wisped Dot . What happens is they caught us will we have a good enough excuse. 1:33 faster faster faster! As we headed threw the toilets a security gard ‘can I see your passport he asked’ he sounded like he meant business. yes yes shnell pounced i have it here she handed it to him hmm….
hi Nique it was really enjoyed the start because you started with run run we will be late for the plane.
I think your DADWAVERS were action in the sentence “‘Run run we will be late for the plane’ Shnell cried.” estimation of time how you put the time that it is
thanks
Hi Nique,
I really enjoyed reading your story because it had lots of action and describing words in it.
A few things that you may like to consider next time you write something is making it more understandable like when you wrote ‘there is security have to get past’ and you have also misspelt guard.
Your ‘DADWAVERS’ that I think you used were estimation of time, action, some verbs and adverbs.
Overall I believe you did a good job and look forward to seeing more of your stories.
From Aynslee
Hi Nique!
Your entry reminded me of the times I’ve traveled and have been late to get to the gate/platform…only to be stopped to dig out my ID as time continued to march on!
Keep writing!
Francine (Team 100)
Twin Cities, Minnesota USA